


The Very Secret Science Notebook of Xandhìl Órecalo

by Nary



Category: Diablotin
Genre: Age Difference, Coming of Age, Cute, Demons, Diary/Journal, F/M, Family, First Crush, Fluff and Angst, Foreshadowing, Friendship/Love, Gay Male Character, M/M, Picnics, Puberty, Science, Secret Crush, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 17:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"At the picnic today he was wearing a dark blue shirt and later he loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top couple of buttons because it was hot out and I could see his neck..."</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Xan kept the notebook (he would have rejected the term 'diary') hidden from prying brotherly and parental eyes, under a loose panel in the wardrobe floor he'd found when he was supposed to be cleaning his room.  It was originally intended to hold his research notes, like Father's, but lately he mostly wrote down things about Justen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Very Secret Science Notebook of Xandhìl Órecalo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Measured_Words](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured_Words/gifts).



_"At the picnic today he was wearing a dark blue shirt and later he loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top couple of buttons because it was hot out and I could see his neck..."_

Xan kept the notebook (he would have rejected the term 'diary') hidden from prying brotherly and parental eyes, under a loose panel in the wardrobe floor he'd found when he was supposed to be cleaning his room. It was originally intended to hold his research notes, like Father's, but lately he mostly wrote down things about Justen. Times that he saw him, what he was doing, how he looked. The answer to that last one was always 'amazing'. Justen was older than Xan was - fifteen to his twelve - and so much more popular and sophisticated and grown-up that it was hard to believe he was the same boy who used to play games with them when they were small. Now he was more interested in parties and girls and didn't pay much attention to the younger children on the occasions when their parents got together, preferring to talk with Xan's Dad instead. 

_"...I heard him ask Dad about where he got ideas for his books, and they were laughing about things. He said he read one that he borrowed from his mom and that he liked it, but wished it had even more... something, I didn't quite hear. Dad's books are so embarrassing though, yuck, why would he read them? I mean, they are mostly for girls anyway..."_

He never used Justen's name in the journal, just in case someone _did_ find it, even though anyone who knew them both would likely have been able to figure it out from the details he provided. It felt safer not to name him, though. Xan's feelings were so bewildering, so strong and yet so new and unfamiliar, that he had a hard enough time putting them into words as it was. Dad had talked to him last year about the changes he'd be going through soon, changes in his body and all of that stuff, but most of them - getting taller, stronger, having to start shaving, his voice changing - hadn't happened yet. The changes in his emotions, however, were in full swing, and mostly just left him feeling awkward and confused. It wasn't at all like he had imagined, and sometimes he wished it would all just go away, go back to normal, but he was pretty sure it wouldn't.

 _"... I was trying to talk to him but then Taz was going on at him about stupid fighting stuff and I didn't get a chance. He probably thought I was acting like an idiot, stammering and trying to interrupt..."_

Taz had started trying some things with girls - Xan knew because his brother had told him about some of them, even if he didn't always want to hear it. He had kissed a few of them, and one had even let him touch her boobs, which Taz made it seem was the greatest thing ever, but Xan just thought it sounded weird and vaguely icky in ways he couldn't quite express. He didn't know if the way he felt about Justen was the same way Taz felt about whatever girl he was mooning over that week, but somehow he didn't think so. It wasn't so much that he wanted to kiss Justen (well, maybe he would try it, if the chance somehow magically came up...) as that he wanted to be closer to him, be friends with him, go places and do exciting things with him. It made him feel clammy and nervous when Justen paid attention to him, and at the same time, he never wanted it to end.

_"... Before they went home, he put his hand on my shoulder for a second and I felt the weird hot-tingly feeling again where he touched me. I think maybe he felt it too, but I couldn't ask with everyone else there. ~~Someday I'd like to do more touching with him and see if it happens like that all over.~~ Maybe we can do an experiment about it someday."_

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at [naryrising](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/naryrising) if you want to ask questions, make requests, or chat!


End file.
